A few weeks ago, I was in worship and we were singing, “Your burden is light and your yoke is easy.” As I was singing it, I saw light and the glory of it engulf my body. I heard Jesus whisper,
“My burden is light.”
Like the sun shining into every part of our skin, the light that is Christ illuminates every cabinet, room, and place of our hearts.
Where it was dark, is now light.
Where there was death, there is now life.
The burden of believing in God is light.
When the sun shines onto our skin, we don’t actually do anything to receive it.
Our bodies just receive it.
Our responsibility, our burden, our doing in Christ is actually to receive from Him.
Months ago, the Lord showed me that, “Talee, you cannot give what you haven’t received.” Of course, the peacemaking, equality declaring, big picture thinking, anti-hypocrite that I try to be went straight to an example where this could have the possibility of not being absolute.
I said, “Okay, how bout when I was younger and I didn’t have someone there for me. I was still there for so many people. I was a great friend without having a friend. How could I have given true friendship to others, if I hadn’t received true friendship from others.”
God responds, “Ok. But honey, I gave you my friendship.”
So many years sitting on my roof, hiding in my closet, sitting in front of the fence, curled up in a ball by my bed, standing in front of the mirror, sitting in the back seat, listening to music, and so on God was comforting me, listening to me, and giving me peace in exchange to my daily fear. He was my best friend. It’s interesting, because I prayed a lot. I believed in God. I didn’t know a lot about Jesus, but the entity that is God was something I turned to often as a witness, companion, and listener of my life.
“My burden is light.”
“Receive my light.”
“You cannot give what you have not received.”
Like I turtle popping my head out of my shell, I have often taken risk in seeing myself as a speaker of God’s reality. But then, I stick my head back in my shell. During our time reading the book, “A Guide For Listening and Inner-healing Prayer” by Rusty Rustenbach, it asks to go into places in your past to where themes have been written into your heart that is not from God. To make a long story short, because of my up-bringing I believed that I am only a listener, not a speaker. Do not talk about your feelings, do not talk about your life, because it is not valuable.
Little did I know is that God has been preparing my heart to share with the world all that I know and love about Him. From this blog, to Grace Space, to Unleashed, to InLove Yoga, it’s like it has always been there, but I wasn’t present to it. I wasn’t present to the presence of God that I carry to share at that capacity. The problem was, I wasn’t receiving it.
This doesn’t mean that I don’t consider myself valuable, because I do. I have done a lot of work with Christ, going to the deep places, going back through the way the pain entered to release the healing presence of Christ, and rewrite my past. However, there are layers as well as things that happen NOW that can still find its way in to destroying or stopping us from being who God created us to be.
At the last Unleashed, people had to back out and there was more than one opportunity for me to speak. Yet, I didn’t consider myself a candidate. With all that I have learned and all that I am for my family, how can I not consider myself someone worth hearing? WE ARE ALL WORTH HEARING, yet I make myself inferior? I lift everyone up, yet I don’t consider myself lifting?
I was rejecting God’s call on my life, because I believed a lie.
I refused to receive what God had for me, because I refused to believe the truth.
I cannot give what I haven’t received.
I was able to give other’s support, because God lifts me high. But I have not been able to give those moments that God has created me for, because I had refused to receive it–receive that truth.
How can I give myself the opportunity to speak and share, when I haven’t received that for my life?
Which begs the questions:
“What are you refusing to receive?”
“What are you rejecting that God is calling you to?”
“What are you in denial about?”
Open up, let the light in…