[ T h e t h i n g s you c o m p l a i n a b o u t is a sign of what is dominating you ]
It’s the scope in which you see the world.
Society is teaching us to shun the victim, and devalue the person with the victim mentality. When in actuality, we need to tend to the victim. I’m not saying get sucked into their pit and vortex of self-pity with them, no! I am saying though, have compassion: help them, love them, and be nice to them. Some may say it enables them but to help someone, love someone, or be kind to them does not mean you are enabling them. In fact bluntness, boundaries, and truth is exactly what they need. Just try not waver and become judgmental and degrading.
Can you be hands locked, eye to eye, mind to mind and say, “I promise to see you for who you are and not whats happened to you. I promise to reach out into your soul and pull out the treasure that is you til in fact you are healed and proactive in this area. I will not abandon you but I will not be responsible for you. I am here when you need me and I am not afraid of anything you’ve done. I love you and I will always be your friend.”
In those moments that you feel you have no strength to offer your friend, hold there hand and say out loud, “Jesus, show [friends name] a memory or picture, give them a feeling or understanding of where you want us to pray today” and pray through confession, forgiveness, and see what God has in exchange for them.