So I was talking to a friend of mine who is going through a break up. She has been single now for 2 months and she was explaining how she needs to love herself before she can be attractive to another. Taking care of yourself, being healthy, staying active, and having happy habits are important traits to be drawn and create happy relationships.
[ L o v e W i s e l y ]
Unfortunately, this friend (like most ladies) wanted the man back. It wasn’t in the way you see in the movies or how your grandparents talk about their history in their life long relationship; there wasn’t a glimmer in their eye or some passionate new understanding. This man hadn’t done some extravagant move or had a change of heart that earned her trust again. This man was in fact doing nothing about it. I was beginning to want to protect my friend and argue against her delusion that I had once experienced myself.
What I found through this experience and my own is that we tend to want to get back with these gentlemen to convince these gentlemen otherwise; to change their perspective of us and show them who we really are. “They got me all wrong” we might say to ourselves. But who knows what the guy really feels. He might be saying one thing and actually feeling or thinking something different.
As women, being created to be solutions in this world, we tend to have this habit where we take ownership for things that were not our accountability in the first place. And even though, you want to prove so badly that this can work, that you can fix this. By taking all responsibility and putting your whole heart into something that doesn’t deserve it will most likely be more detrimental to your own happiness then actually making any progress at all. It would seem that you are just enabling them to act as they have again and again because you are doing all the work to fix what they need to be fixing. Or, if you are the one that messed up, ask yourself, “Was I even happy?” Because, why would you do that if you were happy?
What is usually healthy is space. Space for the guy to live out his decisions and actions and pray for clarity and for love to encounter him while you in fact move on.
– [ y o u c a n n o t c o n t r o l p e o p l e ] or take control over them –
So does that mean this urge to convince a gentlemen otherwise is based out of fear?
Are these ladies scared that these guys don’t see them for who they know they are?
That all these actions will only be temporary and insincere?
So instead of true love its a game of who can convince who of whose to blame??
What I’m coming down to is, you don’t have to prove yourself to anyone who doesn’t appreciate you. In the culture of honor, it’s actually MORE HONORING to respect their space, wishes, and boundaries. As Mumford & Sons says, “Where you invest your love you invest your life” and your life is gift from God to be lived in the fullest not to be spent on closed doors.Pick and choose wisely who you are giving your life to and make sure that it is a good fit.
Be patient because the right one loves you for YOU and doesn’t want to change a thing!
NOTHING YOU DO OUT OF WANTING APPROVAL WILL MAKE A PERSON LOVE YOU MORE OR LESS. PEOPLE WILL LOVE YOU BECAUSE YOU ARE YOU! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, YOU ARE FUN, YOU ARE THOUGHTFUL, YOU ARE KIND, YOU ARE CREATIVE, AND YOU ARE SMART. You must do and MANAGE YOU.
WHO YOU ARE IS THE PROOF!
THE WAY YOU ARE
So ladies, my beautiful ladies, lets not go around trying to prove ourselves to people. Be HONEST WITH YOURSELF. DONT PUSH YOUR FEELINGS ASIDE OR HOPE THAT SOMEONE WILL NOTICE what you’re going through. Don’t act out of it and go around proving to everyone that you’re one way when actually you’re another.
YOU DONT NEED TO PROVE YOURSELF FOR LOVE
LOVE IS FREE and has wings that can take you anywhere ❤
When you align yourself with heavenly promises the enemy will try to persuade you to step out of that covering and waste your energy on your own strength and believing his lies which makes you work harder for something that the Lord gives you freely and that the Lord died on the cross for you to have.
If someone doesn’t know how to love you then thats their issue. If you are in a relationship then teach them your love language and give them pointers. If they don’t progress than you progress without them.
<<< LOVE WISELY >>>
Be the You that God created you to be
Closed doors that need to be closed.
Focus on TRUTH