Everyone always warns you that the wedding process is stressful, full of drama, and full of the unexpected. As a hopeful person I listened to that advice and with my share of wedding experiences knew it to be true, but always in my heart considered that maybe mine would be different. Maybe my wedding planning would be set apart from the rest. In some ways, it has been and in others it’s been as hard as you can imagine. All along the way, these lessons have stuck out to me most.
Lesson #1: It’s all going to be okay.
In the midst of the terror, in the midst of changes, in the midst of the full tornado, my mantra has been, “It’s all going to be okay.” And it will be. As my special day approaches four sunrises from now I know that it’s going to be a miraculous and glorious experience and no one, or no situation, is going to steal my joy.
Lesson #2: Everything is magnified.
If you have a friend that loves to help out at the end of a party or ask you if you need help and do it then they will be the best person during your wedding process! Those people have full hearts and know how to think and help lift the burdens off your shoulders. If you have a friend that says all the right things but never brings anything to the party, always tries to bargain with you, and never seems to do anything for you WATCH OUT because they can be a very dangerous breed. Remember, self-centered people do self-centered things. Even with the justifiable expectation of support for your wedding they will have no problem continuing with their narcissistic energy and give you the big “middle finger.” Mortifying to actually say something like that out loud but painfully true.
Lesson #3: Everyone has an opinion.
This is a meaningful event for a lot of people and everyone involved wants a say or wants to decide what is best for your special day. Listening to people’s ideas and wants is very different than acting on them. Let everything sink in and take your time. As much as some people like to rush you through the process, wait for every decision to be sprung from your heart. People will bully their way with you in all sorts of directions, but you my friend, it’s up to you to decide everything. Sometimes people have some great ideas! Sometimes their ideas are super kooky but that’s the beauty of it all! You get to know people and what they love and how they think. These close family and friend events are meant to bring you closer not farther apart.
Lesson #4: KEEP A LIST! Start, do, & finish your ideas as you figure them out.
What I loved about this process was getting stuff checked off the list; I am a do it yourself kind of woman. I love a bargain and hate spending money as if it doesn’t matter. Sometimes we would get an idea and then get it done. Not everything though was that simple. In the grand scheme of a wedding sometimes you can’t do one thing before you do another so the order of the plan hinders you from doing everything right away. But don’t be afraid to start the projects early! There’s one project I started early but then it didn’t get finished until recently and I wish I had more time to be more involved with it and learn new tricks, but because I waited so long to do it I wasn’t able to play as much of a role as I wanted. I figured since I put some time in it then that meant it was done, but theres always something that falls through the cracks.
Lesson #5: It all adds up!
Keep your budget on lock down! Every little thing will add up so quickly. Pick five things that are of the utmost importance to you and then with the rest, let it flow.
Lesson #6: As Pastor Todd said, “Make the main thang the main thang!”
The main thing is YOU and YOUR GROOM! Everyone is there to support you two on the amazing journey you are about to embark on. Keep your relationship the main thing.
Lesson #7: Planning Vs. Reality
Lastly, be fully aware of everything that happens and take it for what it is. This is a great opportunity for an internal reality check. People may not be the people you think they are and you’re going to have to face that head on. Don’t be discouraged but be energized, hopeful, and ready to make it work! If big weddings were easy, everyone would have them. This is a special opportunity for you to look life’s joys and challenges right in the face and find a place of stillness, peace, and resurrection.
I haven’t reached my big day quite yet and I am so excited for it! I know that all this planning has been like creating the skeleton of what will happen and the day of celebrations will be the muscle! Whatever happens that day will happen and nothing can change how awesome it will be! It’s all about those moments anyway and I can’t wait to see what ensues!
Overall I must say I am beyond grateful for the trials and tribulations. I know so much more about my life, my weaknesses and strengths, my family, my friends, and making a dream into a reality. God is so much bigger than my comprehension and he has been so faithful holding my hand through this all and having him to rest my head on has been the best blessing of all. If you are weary of having a big wedding my recommendation is go for it!! It only encourages breakthrough!