Validate the Hurt

Communication tips when consoling a friend.

Listen. Validate. Comfort. Maybe even Relate. And if you don’t relate, figure out a SOLUTION together. Give your advice. Be gentle. Lead into it.Learn Technique. Practice Technique. FORGET TECHNIQUE.

In general, as women we’re naturally like this when it comes to our path of speaking but we don’t always use the right stones. Remember to LISTEN and be HONEST because many of the times women are more concerned about what you want to hear, while men are really good at at telling you what you need to hear (and love to jump the gun on that all the time because they want to fix it: its cute). But both aren’t wrong or right, it’s just we don’t live in a black and white world and neither should our communication. Balance it out, say what you know they want to hear “its gonna be okay”, but finish it with what they need to hear whatever it may be.

Its about being present, flexible, and flowing in the conversation. DO YOU CARE? Because if you say you do then prove it. Love me with comfort then love me with advice for what’s best for me.

Tip for me: Hold me while we talk about something that hurts, it makes me flow endlessly.

Tips for men: Give em comfort and solution in one sentence. They’ll ask if they need an explanation of how you know.

be kind

be positive

be thoughtful

be balanced

live free love free just be

-tal n jade


on another note: try validating your own feelings

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